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 a day at the beach*

it was a hot july weekend in the summer of '81.  i just decided to become a punk monkey and leave the hectic pace of politics behind me, i needed the rest.  i was sleeping in my custom hanger when i heard a pounding on the front door.  it was mark and bill, and they wanted to go to the beach, and wanted to know if i wanted to come.  so, with excitement for my new found nature and a desire to hag with the guys, i found myself in the back of a '67 ford van singing elton john songs heading for the beach for a day of "fun in the sun."

we planned it all down to the last detail, bar-b-q, surfing, volleyball, touch foot ball, squid diving, and my personal favorite (a carry over from my time in the senate when me and the kennedy boys would get plastered and go wild in the back rooms) "guess the sea creature" (you lick the soft underbelly of a "sea creature" and try to guess what it is - ted was the undisputed champ in the senate).  i am very good at the game, not as good as ted, but i can hold my own with the best of them.

as we pulled into the lot and found a place to park we started to unload the van.  we set up the "q" and iced down the burp when we started to play a little touch football.  we worked up a fantastic appetite so we fired up the q and started to burn the burgers.  i don't eat "meat" so i flopped a few jellyfish on the grill (i like b-b-q jellyfish, but not as much as i like the boiled with a light burney sauce - taaaaaasty) life was good, and it was getting better.

as the evening progressed and i, as expected with ted's absences, kicked major butt in the "guess the sea creature" contest (i am amazed how many humans can't tell the difference between a flounder and a sea slug - ted would have gotten it in one lick) we decided to stay the night on the beach and see what the next day brought.  i was on a personal high - i was with my friends, i had some great jellyfish, i won "guess the sea creature," and i felt good, i was stoked beyond belief.

i slept good that night - with a belly filled with jellyfish.  when we awoke the next day the fun kicked right up again.  another group arrived that evening had challenged us to a game of volleyball; and we were not the type to let the challenge get beyond us.

we played for hours, and we won three out of five games - we were hot and getting hotter.  nothing could stop us, and it showed.  we were the powerhouse on the beach that day, and i was the leader of the group.  i had it all, the power, the talent, and the edge - i was on fire and people knew it - the chants were great - "punk monkey, punk monkey, punk monkey" it was music to my ears - and fuel for my ego (or id, i'm not sure punk monkey's have an ego).  but in the middle of my high, came my downfall - and it hurt.

as we were gloating in our victory and rubbing our prowess in their noses a little boy, no older then five, came up to me and said, "i bet i'm better at blowing bubbles then you are!"  it was a challenge, a slap on the face - the gauntlet was passed, and i could not pass it up - it was my time and i was going to win. all my friends started to laugh at this little boy - only five, and if he was three feet tall it was amazing.  he was short, thin and just a child - i had it made, and i was going to claim another victory for my personal gloating - 

it was "bubble gum" at fifty paces - and I was primed.  I had a humongous wad of gum in my mouth - i had crammed about seven pieces in my mouth.  i was larger then the child, so i was able to get a bigger wad of gum shoved in my face - and that i felt was the advantage.  i let the kid go first, and he did blow a large, very large, bubble - but i was primed and my turn soon came to be.  as i blew and blew and blew the bubble got bigger and bigger - soon it was three times the size of the kids, but the rules stated that the bubble needed to be "sustained for five seconds after you stop blowing."  i stopped blowing when my bubble was easily four times bigger then the kids - in fact it was twice the size of the kid - and i was going to be declared the winner.  no sooner did i stop blowing, then pow - the bubble popped and i had bubble gum all over me.  my whole face and chest were covered in gum.  the bubble was so big and the pop so powerful that gum wrapped around my whole body and i was absolutely covered in gum - remember i am a punk monkey, and covered with hair - so this was not good.  the shock the the bubble popping caused me to stumble, and i tripped over bill's feet and fell face down in the sand - now i am covered with gum, seaweed, and sand - and to top it all off, the kid won.

as i lay in the sand covered in gum, sand and seaweed i pondered over the events that just took place.  i was certain i would win the match, and so certain, that i forgot my limitations - I'M COVERED IN HAIR, AND BUBBLEGUM AND HAIR DO NOT MIX.  by looking at this little punk kid i felt i could win another event and claim another brass ring for my weekend - not once remembering that it is not what is on the outside, but the inside that counts - the kid won, and did so with dignity and honor.  while i won with gloating an self-absorption.  i learned a valuable lesson that day - know your limitations and trust that others are better at things then you are.

PuNk mOnKEy -