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church xp, the up-grade - part five, connection

Introduction:

It should go without saying, but still I must say it, “connecting” is not only “small groups.”  While small groups are part of connecting, they are not the only part.  One of the features of the new nonlinear operating system is understanding “connection [i].”  Almost everything we do depends on the quality of that connection.  If people are truly interested in reaching a postmodern people, connection is primary.  It is, if you will, the P2P of a community of faith; it is both “inter” and “intra;” it is “connection” on the “micro” and the “macro.”  When we look into the dictionary [ii] to get a working definition of connection we find the following:

1. To join of fasten together, link

2. Considered as related

3. To plug into an outlet

4. To link by telephone

5. To be, or become, joined

Therefore, living in connection (the act of being connected) allows us to be:  “joined together in such a manner as to be considered related.”  This is why most postmodern people see friendships as primary to their lives; we want friends, but we may not know how to make them.  Being connected means a desire to be a part of something, to know you belong; to many postmodern people do not “feel” like they belong in churches today.  Most postmodern people feel that the church is not listening; they hear the words, but do not know what they say.  Most churches, as mentioned earlier, see connection and making people feel welcomed as “placing people into approved small groups.”  But, as we will see later, placing people into pre-made small groups is not “connecting” because of the “self-organizing” factor in a nonlinear operating system.

Connection is a unique process; and a very cool concept.  It is based on love[iii] and the desire to truly care for someone.  I truly enjoy working with wood.  I love to carve, and have carved some wonderful pieces over the past, walking sticks, an eagle for the front of a boat, and Celtic knots.  When we were living in New Jersey, a good friend, Joe Tapp (a great guy and a great friend) and I would get together and make special gifts for our families.  Joe had all the tools, even a great drill press with a fantastic light (inside joke).  I always found “joining” boards interesting.  Taking two independent boards and “join” them together to make one larger board; yet you could always tell that the boards were “joined” together.  What was most fascinating for me was the realization that as independent boards they had the perceived value of making a small end table.  Yet, when they were “joined” (connected) their perceived value increased to a coffee table.  So, in connection their value increased; the joined board became greater then the sum of it’s parts (emergence).  The same is true when we connect people, they become greater then themselves, and greater then the sum.

Three Connections:

When we are in connection we become something greater then ourselves; we become more then who we are as individuals, we are connected.  Connecting can be in a group (connected to others), worship (connected to God), even individual (connected to self).  I believe these three main connections, to others, to God, to self, work to keep us whole.  In that, churches need to see how well they are doing in these three areas:

The first connection is that to God [connecting upward]:

To experience God in Worship, and in our daily lives – George Barna writes that over 40% of people attending church today do not experience God in the Worship Service – heartbreaking, but very modern.  Connecting to God needs to be part of a solid Worship Service, contemporary in nature and Christ centered, because it is the primary connection in our lives.  This connection needs to be under the following Scriptural Guideline – “Suppose some strangers are in your worship service, when you are praising God with your spirit.  If they don’t understand you, how can they say ‘Amen’?  You may be worshiping God in a wonderful way, but no one else will be helped.[iv]”  Worship must be God Centered and understandable to those who are not-yet-believers – so they can become a believer, so they can connect.   Music must be upbeat and relevant to the times.  Drama, Video and the Life Application Messages needs to meet the people where they are, not where we expect them to be, and bring them to where God wants them, in connection with Him.

The second connection is to each other [connecting outward]:

Ministries and outreaches need to reflect the current times, without compromising the Gospel of Jesus Christ [v].  Leaders, not teachers, lead ministries – Looking outward means we have an honest Christ centered desire to grow and share the Gospel with those around us and make true and honest friendships with others.  To influence others we must truly hold honest and sincere friendships with those who are not in relationship with Jesus Christ.  Jesus eat, drank and lived among the sinners of the world – loving and caring for them with all His heart, yet he did not become one of them.  We must be what I call, a “withness” to others.  A witness is one who states the facts and moves on, while a “withness” is one who states the facts and walks with the person and help them seek answers to the questions, and is an example of the faith[vi].  We need to replace the battle of words and requests with the desire for a vision of actions and ideas.  We need to develop leaders, creative people who accept the vision and are willing to do what it takes to implement the vision, to develop ministries.  We need to develop all ministries with the intention of growth and outreach.  Every ministry must have as it basis the intention of transforming people and lifestyles.  Planning for intentional growth of the church, ministries, activities and events is very important for us to bring Christ to the community around.  If not, if we have no goals, we are set for the fall; we find ourselves dancing with compliantly and procrastination, remember – excellence honors God.  When Jesus sent out the twelve to minister[vii] he gave them a plan of action, we must do the same.  To say it boldly and plainly – NUMBERS MATTER, BECAUSE PEOPLE MATTER TO GOD.  We need to stop playing the “numbers do not matter” game based on failed vision and lacking of leadership.   We must get out past ourselves and connect honestly with others because they matter to God and to us.  If we do not share with others, connect in honestly with others; we are being selfish and self-centered. 

The third connection is that of connecting to “self” [connecting inward]:

If we are to connect to others we must first look inward to see who we are in our walk, and who we are as individuals.  Christians must confidently and without fear live a life that is reflective of our faith.  This means that we as Christians must clearly identify ourselves as Christians and demonstrate clearly that our faith is practical to life today.  If we are unwilling to express our faith in Christ, why claim to be Christian?  We do this by our daily decisions, relationships and behaviors.  Developing people into disciples, visiting the sick and doing home visits is not only the responsibility of the Pastor, it is the responsibility of everyone who calls him or herself a Christian.  I do not believe in “Pastor as Chaplain.”  I believe that the responsibility of the Pastor is to develop leaders, and in turn encourage others to develop ministries that “chaplain” others.  Whole people make a whole church.  For this to be done, all Christians must take the responsibility to grow as Christians by being in God’s word, and participate in study at a deeper and meaningful level.  

Connecting, to be part of the new operating system, is unique because of two very important parts; it requires ‘self-organization” and must have a “feedback loop.”

Unique Features of a postmodern Connection:

When we think of connections we usually think of groups, or other ministries, the church has formed to bring people together.  I have been part of meeting where the Elders sit and determine what connections need to be started, and who will run them.  In a linear modern world this approach is acceptable, but in a nonlinear postmodern world this approach is seen as fake and contrived.  For a postmodern people, connection is self-organized and then supported by the church.

Self-Organizing:

Let me start by saying that self-organization does not mean “spontaneous existence.”  Some simply sit back, letting nothing happen and claiming, “well, it just must not have been meant to be.”  If you do nothing, you have sterile ground; and nothing grows in sterile ground.  The church culture must allow for connections to form, this involves trust.  When we develop a system that dictates connection we are developing a system that lacks trust in God’s people and places some “over” others.  Trust allows for a creative spark, and it is that creative spark which creates the energy and momentum that drives the need for self-organization.  Like-minded people are attracted to each other.  While at fist, this may seem “chaotic” in nature; it truly does follow a nonlinear development.  What I have found over the past is that when leaders who reject the concept of self-organization usually do so because they believe they will not “be in control.”  It’s a power thing; and developing connection based on a modern linear process is easier then striving to create an atmosphere of creativity.  It is easier to control, then to create.  By allowing the connections in the church to be self-organizing does not mean we do nothing.  It means the governing system we have must allow for self-organization and creativity.  One that truly and honestly expresses a desire for creativity and connection; and one that is not confining and controlling.  Any development of the connection needs to be with those who are involved in that connection and not controlled by “leaders” outside the connection.

As I mentioned earlier, “small groups” are part of connection, but are not the only way to keep connected.  I have a friend who tried to “join” a group at a local large church.  He approached the “Group Pastor” and asked what groups were available.  He was told that, “At this time I don’t think we have a group you will fit in, but if you want to go through ‘group leadership’ training you can start one.”

What the church failed to understand was that my friend is very “eclectic” in nature.   All the Pastor saw as a “long-haired rock musician;” he did not see the father of two great kids, the husband of a wonderful women, a man who likes “African rhythms” and folk music, a man who, by his nature, is loving, caring and gentle.  While they tried to place him in one group, he could have belonged to many different groups and he could have belonged to them all.  Forced connections never work.  Placing people via a forced connection based on age, interests, marriage status, race or anything else is wrong.  While this may have worked for a modern generation, a postmodern generation is diverse, and too eclectic to force into a single group. I know of one person who has “joined” three different groups, and has a great time in each one.

Connection must be made by the people involved in the connection and not by outside forces.  The role of the leadership of the church is to be a gardener.  When you plant a seed, it grows (hopefully).  It’s growth, at some level, is determined by what we do and how we care for the seed.  If we have fertile ground and good watering the seed will grow, if not it will not.  As the “gardeners” our responsibility is to maintain the soil and water on occasion – that’s it.  No matter how hard we try, and no matter what we do, we cannot “make” the seed grow into a plant; we can only “help” it grow.  It’s God’s responsibility to “grow” the seed, and we need to trust that God is in control.  This is hard for controlling people to understand.  So, what is the responsibility of the leadership?  Simply, train, encourage and remove obstacles.

Train:  The church leadership needs to train people to start connections.  Offer a regular basic training on how to get people connected and open the training to anyone who wants to attend.   The training should deal with creating connections, growing connections and how to develop already existing connections.  When you are willing to train, people are willing to attend, self-organization connections formation will happen.  But do not “stop” a connection because the leaders did not attend “official church training.”  Some people have been given a gift from God to connect people together, let that happen.  Remember, if God is directing the ministry who are you to stop it?

Encourage:  speak of the importance of forming connections on a regular basis.  Model how easy it is to start connections.  Too many church leaders see a need, and try to find someone to fill that need.  I have always worked under the principle that if you see then need, God is telling you to fill that need.  Do what ever it takes to allow the creation of connection.  Remove all obstacles to creativity and let people grow.  Trust that God is in control, because when God is in control, all we need do is trust it will all work out.

We need to remember that in the ebb and flow of self-organizing it will allows reach a point of equilibrium, created by a feedback loop.

The Feedback Loop:

Open the lines of communication and allow people to give feedback and you will see the wonderful world of self-organization come to life.  With a strong central control, feedback does not happen.  With a strong central control all you get are people who complain, and complaining is not feedback – it’s complaining.  Feedback is not negative in nature, and it is not “negative disguised as positive.”  I love it when people start a statement with the words, “Now, I’m not trying to be negative, but….”  If you are not trying to be negative, you do not need to say you are not trying to be negative, just don’t be negative.  When we realize we do not have a strong central control, positive feedback becomes very important.

Most moderns do not like the concept of “self-organizing” connections, mostly because of their inability to “control” and “take charge” of the system.  This bugs people who desire to be “the boss” in the church.  And I am glad it drives them crazy, because self-organizing connections should not be “managed.”  They should be guided to stability.  A good feedback loop will do just that.

Feedback loops, by their very nature, create stability.  Positive feedback encourages growth, while negative complaining causes destruction.  Anyone who has ever helped set up the band equipment understands the concept of a feedback loop.  If you place the microphone too close to the speaker the microphone picks up the ambient sounds of the speaker and feeds it back through the system.  The sound is in turn sent out via the speaker, picked up by the microphone and pumped through the system.  This “loop” keeps happening until a “squelch” comes over the system, causing people to move the microphone away from the speaker.  When you find the balance, the feedback loop causes a stable relationship between all parts of the system.  Feedback loops rock.

Ways Of Connecting:

I am going to say something that may cause some to freak out, here goes; Denominations do not count as being connected.  I believe the concept of “denomination” needs to change from one of control, to one of guidance.  As denominations currently stand they do not meet the basic understandings of connections.  Denominations need to meet the needs of the community and not control the outcome.  Currently, denominations believe the community must serve the denomination and “connection” is based on control.  By nature a denomination does not allow for self-organizing connections, they find it hard to accept.  In and of itself, this is not a problem.  All denominations were formed, or reformed, by a modern generation and will need to rethink a great deal to function with a postmodern generation.  I have a friend who is pastoring a community of faith in California.  The community is connected with the United Methodist Church (UMC).  He likes the Wesleyan/Armenian Theology, but can’t deal with the rules of the church.  For example, he is the “Pastor” of the community.  He is the “Teacher” and “Preacher” and “Guider” of those who attend the community of faith.  He, with his leadership team, has built a positive community outreaching to a new generation for Christ.  But, he is unable to baptize any of the people, he is not allowed to serve communion, he is not allowed to perform marriages – he is not allowed to do a great deal, because of the Book of Discipline.  He is not being allowed to make these connections, and if he does he will be fired.  So, I do not believe denominations are connective by nature.  Now I am certain people will send me email about how their denominations are connective – but one example does not make the denomination connective.

Let me get off my soapbox and get back to the concept of connections, after all that is why I am writing all this.  The question begs to be asked, how do we connect?  What can we do as a people of Christ to form connections? 

Some Examples of Connection:

A Church Website:

With over 150 million Americans connected to the web[viii] the question needs to be asked, does your church have a web site?  You should.  As we look at the fantastic growth of the net, some 700 people an hour connect[ix], your church needs a quality website to reach a generation that receives most of its information from the web[x].  When I speak of a website, I do not mean those cheesy sites most churches have; you know the ones with bad graphics of rainbows and praying hands, tinny midi files of “Amazing Grace” that refuses to stop playing and those animated gifs of a dove flying nowhere, or mail box opening and closing, silly banner ads and web rings that lead no place.

Churches need to keep in mind that for most of the postmodern generation connecting to your site, before attending your church, is normal.  If your site is boring and filled with garbage, postmodern people believe your church is the same.  Remember, over 70% of postmodern people use the net for a first impression.  Your church needs to have a quality site that shows that excellence honors God and motivates people.  Here are three examples of very cool church sites.

Coastlands   - This site is one of my favs.

www.marshill.fm  - a good site, with a good amount of information

Quest  - this church is a start-up and I just wanted to share a plants site.

Email:

If having a website is primary, having email is the foundation.  More email is sent each day then snail mail.  Over 760 million emails messages are sent each day[xi], almost twice as much as the Post Office.  The question becomes, how large is your elist?  Do you encourage people to use email?  I remember talking with a representative of a “church directory company” who was trying to get us to agree to a church directory.  The biggest problem was that they did not offer a place to list email address and personal home pages.

Email is the way most postmodern people communicate.  Between email and Instant Messenger (IM) 99.7% of the connected people receive email or connect through IM[xii].  With 79% receive email at home and 57% receive email at work[xiii].  Email is quick and easy, and you can reach a great many people with one email letter.  With “bulk” email programs you can email everyone in the church at one time.  You can email updates, newsletters, prayer requests, service information and more.  I know of one church in Las Vegas that uses email to tell people where they are meeting this week.  There is something very important to remember, if you are the Senior Pastor of the church, post your email address so people can contact you.

Chat:

Chat rooms are wondrous places where people can connect and get information for a wide variety of people.  People can hide and be something else in a chat room, this is a protective mode.  When postmodern people are exploring and checking your church out, they may not say who they are or what they are doing – they are striving to see who you are, and what you are doing.  Moderns see this as “dishonest” but postmoderns see it as “protective.”  If your church is looking to start a chat room, people need to be their from the church to start the chat and keep it going.  Chat is a good way to allow people to explore the Christian faith in safety.

Message Boards:

At one church I served we used the message board to give information on weekly events, and lesson topics.  Message Boards are great, if you respond to the messages left. 

Personal Websites:

Does the church offer a place where members can have a few pages of the site for personal use?  Imagine, a visitor looking for a church finding your site, and they have the ability to check out what some of the members are doing.  That would be wonderful.  People outside the church connecting to people inside the church and building a relationship even before the new person visits the church, not that’s tech.

The Problems With Tech:

Tech is not the answer to all questions, it has its place but it is not the answer of all answers.  While there is tech to answer your phone and drive people to a voice mail system, don’t use it.  People call a church to speak with a person, not a machine.  Answer your emails and phone calls – remember that connection takes at least two, and if you are not returning the messages you are not connecting.  I know of a church in Las Vegas[xiv] where if you called to speak with the Senior Pastor you would be told that he is a very busy man and could not take the time to speak with you.  When I expressed my disappointment to an Associate Pastor I was told that, “With 3,000 people there is not way Gene could talk to everyone.”  This is a poor excuse; no one is asking that he speak with everyone.  I know of Pastors who serve church from 1,000 to 10,000 who post their phone number and email address’.  They answer the phone when people ask to speak with them and they care and strive to connect.   Don’t hide behind tech or your position connect.

Connect, Without Tech:

With all this tech stuff, let us not forget the ways we can connect without tech.  We can use the phone to call the elderly members of the congregation to say hi and see if they need anything.  Newsletter, small groups and snail mail, connections are not based on tech, they are based on people.  Connections are not based on programs; they are based on people and their needs.  Anything that can increase the connection in a P2P experience is key to connection.  Sharing information in an honest connection leads to “groupthink.”

Groupthink:

Groupthink is the ability of your church to develop an underlining connective culture.  It is when connection seems to drive the ideas present and the direction ministries and programs take in a collective manner.  To be a church that is connected, to go beyond the “small group” ideas and into a culture that believes connection is important is central to the understanding of groupthink.   For groupthink to occur, a church needs to insure that its culture meets some basic criteria:

1. Accepting with the ability to share unconditional love [xv].  Hebrews offers a wonderful picture of God’s unconditional love and acceptance of us.  And it is because of God’s unconditional love and acceptance for us, that we must have that same expression of love for others, all others.   We must love each other and work to accept each other with all our faults, and let God do what God does best

2. Honesty with the ability to be open and transparent [xvi].  Being honest and transparent in the fact that we are human is important.  We are not perfect, but we are forgiven.

3. Loving with the ability to forgiving [xvii].  We need to confess our sins and not the sins of others.  Let people get connected and then help them seek God’s forgiveness.  Once God forgives

4. Unifying with the ability to resolve conflict [xviii].  Too many churches hide behind problems.  This causes more problems then you could imagine.  Face conflict with the honest love of Christ.  Don’t hide but stand in the light

5. Uplifting with the ability to help others [xix].  Be positive.  Finding the problem in everything is just to modern, it if based on “critical thought.”  Stop being critical and start being uplifting.

6. Diversity with the ability to welcome the new and different [xx].  Welcome others from all different races and cultures.  To truly be an “Acts 2” church, one must be culturally diverse – read Acts 2 again and see what I mean.

When we accept these six principles in the church we are on our way to understanding the concept of a self-organizing connective natures. 

Closing:

Being connected allows us to grow and experience life in new and different ways.  When we connect we learn to love, trust, care and open to different people.  Connection allows us to go beyond self and into the realm of others.  It allows us to touch the face of God and share that touch with others.  To become a vital community where people are important, connect.

John O’Keefe is the founder of www.ginkworld.net.  John sees a desperate need for the church as a whole to change and reach a new people for Christ.  He is straightforward, honest and calls it the way it he sees it.  John is a graduate of Drew and has been a Senior Pastor and Church Planter