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10
reasons why your church sucks:
#4, It is graying, quickly
by
john o'keefe
Let’s
face it; the church in America is getting
grayer and grayer each and every year.
I am not sure where I heard it but I
once heard that some 60% of all churches in
America are just a funeral away from closing
their doors. The last stats I read said that the average church attendee
in American is now about 63-year-old (in some
denominations it is much older).
Now there are exceptions, but all in
all I believe the stat is dead on.
Here’s a little exercise for you and
a group to try this Sunday.
Take off from your church this Sunday
and visit another church in your area – you
will see what I mean.
It does not matter if the church you
visit is a Presbyterian Church, Methodist
Church, Baptist Church, Church of Christ
Church or even one of the
“non-denominational” (you know, the
“hidden Baptist” churches) you will see
that 63 is not far from the truth – some may
even be a whole lot older then that.
In many churches the “older” (over
60) out weight the “younger” (under 40)
ten to one; while in society that is reverse.
While I know that the average age in
American is growing, it still does not meet
the average age in the church.
Before
I go too much longer I do want to state that
being “postmodern/emerging” is not an age
thing – it never has been, and it never
should be centered on age.
It is an open conversation, a learning
process, and a time to rethink all that
makes-up the church.
It is a cultural thing, a philosophical
thing, a “mind” thing, I know – it just
so happens that many of the people who are
“postmodern/emerging” are younger the 63
(but I know some 70 year olds who are very
postmodern and some 20 year olds that are so
modern it’s crazy).
But we have to face facts in this, age
does play a role in the church.
I
love it when I read about “age mixed
communities” being the goal of a postmodern
community.
They say that a “truly postmodern
community of faith” would have people of all
ages attending – and guess what, I have no
problem with that idea, but is that a true
possibility in this world?
I don’t think it is possible; we need
to remember some very important facts:
No
community of faith attracts all people:
In
the perfect world the church would reflect the
make-up of a given community; equal in all
areas. But
given the diverse tastes of people, it does
not. For
example, I do not like “traditional church
music”- it drives me crazy – it is too
slow, too out of step and not in a key I can
relate too.
It is not the words (though some hymns
have no theological standing at all – and we
call them “classic”) it’s the music
–the style of music – drives me crazy.
But older people love it, it
“sooths” them.
Given that, there is no way to find a
musical medium between what I like and what my
mother likes, never mind that there will be no
way to find it with my grandmother.
Now, given just that one simple
example, never mind theology, technology,
verbiage, life needs and many other issues
that differ from generation to generation, you
can see that a church of “different
generations” is hard; but that is not to say
it is impossible.
The
catch 22:
To
truly be a church of “generations” I
believe that the graying church needs to move
aside and let the next generation lead.
Many churches today are noticing that
they are getting older and that younger people
are not taking their place.
So they look at what they are offering,
know that a change needs to happen, and yet
they do not change.
They have found the perfect “catch
22.” What
they desire is to grow, on their terms and in
their way, and expect others to just fold up
and take it.
They know that younger people are not
interested in their music, their theology,
their service, there structure and their
social issues – but they refuse to change
any of those – because it was like that when
they were younger, and so they expect this
generation to like what they liked when they
were kids – but that will not happen.
A graying church is, at best, a
problematic church.
Some
of the catch 22s:
Here
are some things I have heard from churches
that are gray and what they truly mean by
them”
What
they say, “We want to grow.”
What
they mean when they say it, “We are willing
to grow as long as we are not flooded with new
people who we do not know.
We do not want to change, and we refuse
to give up our control of the church.
After all, we built the church so we
should have total control of all the church
does.”
What
they say, “We are open to new ideas”
What
they mean when they say it, “We are willing
to hear about new ideas, but if they conflict
with our current ideas we will not change.
New is good, but there is a great deal
to say about traditions.”
What
they say, “It’s not the music it’s the
lyrics”
What
they mean when they say it, “We don’t like
the music either, but we can’t make fun of
it because our parents made fun of our music
and it hurt, so we can’t outright make fun
of yours, but it is the music.”
What
they say, “We want more young people to
serve in the church.”
What
they mean when they say it, “We need young
bodies to do all the lifting work, but not to
serve in leadership of the church.
We would love a youth group because
they can clean up our messes and take care of
the lawn.”
What
they say, “We want more families in the
church”
What
they mean when they say it, “We are looking
for families that fit our understanding of
“family;” mom, dad, kids and all – we
are not looking for single families of other
“mixed” families.”
What
they say, “We need to reach a new
generation.”
What
they mean when they say it, “We are willing
to reach the 21st century as long
as we use the same tools we did in the
1950’s and 1960’s and 1970’s to reach
our generation.”
A
graying church is one that has more history
behind it than life in front of it.
They are spending the remainder of
their life looking back in time to “the good
old days” and not to the future and what God
has in store for them as a community of faith.
Wisdom is not defined by age; maturity
is not defined by age; neither is church
leadership defined by age.
What graying churches need to do is
realize they have a situation and truly do
something about it.
They need to look deep into who they
are and have a willingness to move aside and
let a new generation in.
New music, new structure, new
direction, new leadership, new vision and a
new heart for Christ.
the
other "10
reasons why your church sucks"
articles
1.
It does not understand the community at large
2.
It has poor leadership
3.
It has no solid vision
4.
It is graying, quickly
5.
It’s inbred
6.
It’s concerned with look and not action
7.
It’s comfortable in its misery, and is looking for
company
8.
It’s out of touch
9.
It’s all about money
10.
It’s all politics
we,
are in the process of developing a bible study based on the 10 reasons -
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