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Ten Thousand Charms

By Jody Sneed

 

Come, ye sinners, poor and needy,

Weak and wounded, sick and sore;

Jesus ready stands to save you,

Full of pity, love and power.

     Come, Ye Sinners, Poor and Needy by Joseph Walker

 

I am struggling.  The second line of the old, old hymn struck me so personally after six weeks of a lingering illness, I felt every word.  Combined with a job, family full of teenagers and struggling with a new view of life in the church, well, this was truly the winter of my discontent.

 

About this time last year, I was first exposed to this simpler and more authentic concept of the body of Christ.  And at that same time a series of conflicts with the church establishment led me to begin a practice of comparative Christianity in trying to come up with solutions to the woes of the institution. 

 

Church leaders, clergy and laity, were been analyzed at every turn, with motivations and planning seen in each misspoken word and unsure glance.  A recent deacons meeting brought much of my misery to a head: a missionary enterprise with an underserved African people group involving no expense was denied for lack of detail of the impact on the budget while a multi-year, multi-million dollar church relocation was recommended, despite little long-range detail other than projected capital budgets.  The impact of such a move on the local area was discussed and the result was summed up like this: the neighborhood folks would rather worship with their own people.  We can make a big impact by leaving and using the old facility to for a specific-ethnicity mission church or creating a community center.

 

And I know my reactions to these situations made my other relationships tougher the weeks of illness, stubbornly rejecting medical help and then when I relented, not following up when the treatment wasn’t working, caused frustration for my family.  My season of crankiness had hurt many relationships, as had my run of comparative Christianity.  I had thought being miserable for Christ was part of the persecutions He promised wed endure for our belief.  One more such indignity would be tonight’s a concert of prayer, to begin preparation for personal renewal in advance of a one-day revival.  I saw the timing alongside the vote on the church relocation as too coincidental and was planning to continue my Sunday afternoon nap into the early evening.  But my wife’s preparations for the evening service reminded me of one relationship I had not maintained so well and I asked if I could drive her, knowing I hadn’t done that much of late.

 

To my surprise, the concert focused on the early church in Acts 2:42-46.  Singing was still out of the question, so I spent much of the time praying and meditating.  During the illness, my study and prayer time had evaporated.  Now, I was being drawn by the simple piano and guitar in the background.  More about Jesus would I know, More of His grace to others show, another hymn struck me like a hammer.  These are blessings, the knowledge and grace of Christ.  And the knowledge I has just received was about my lack of showing His grace towards other, regardless of how much I cared for them I had been equally disgraceful to everyone!

 

However, blessings had to be windfalls, unforeseen boons, didn’t they?  Or was that the world’s view of blessings?  I don’t think my illness was a blessing but the knowledge I gained was.  Could a blessing be unpleasant and challenging?  If it broke down walls I had built in a vain attempt to segregate one part of my life from His lordship, then there was a blessing.  That knowledge increased Him and decreased me, it put things in their proper perspective, and it helped bring me back into that most crucial relationship.  Frustrations with the institution of the church and my health left me bitter.  I had condemned the church for not reaching out to its neighborhood.  Now, confronted with Christ’s love and truth, I realized I didn’t know the names of all my own neighbors, their needs or lives.  The expectation for renewal of the church had to begin with having the same expectations of myself.  Ouch how many more blessings could I take?

 

All this happened in a matter of minutes, overcoming months of self-centeredness.  It was not easy seeing what I had let things become. It was hard describing my shortcomings to my wife.  An old lesson relearned for the umpteenth time: it’s not God, why are you letting these things happen to me? But Lord, what lesson are you teaching me though these circumstances?

 

At a fellowship after the service, it was easier to be with those I had mistrusted and categorized.  I caught myself smiling at the normal pratfalls of the youth and joining in conversations with those I wouldn’t have spent a moment with last week.

 

Is the church still less than I desire?  Am I still repairing relationships?  Can I be a better servant, in the church and my own neighborhood?  Will I have doubt about the plans?  Yes to all.  This is not ignorance of an emotional bliss but a valuable lesson in Christ calming the storm within me or around me.  All the situations persist and I must work through them.

 

Wanting to advance the traditional church in postmodern terms remains.  Yearning for a service to and worship of Christ to be simple, direct and devoid of human invention persists.  Its all supposed to be about Jesus and it isn’t.

 

Yet, I am getting back to being happy, not in my circumstances but in my Savior. 

 

I will arise and go to Jesus,

He will embrace me in His arms;

In the arms of my dear Savior,

O there are ten thousand charms.

 

 

________________

Jody Sneed is the husband of Gail and father of two sons, Matt and Josh.  He is a non-profit agency executive director, deacon, teacher and all around ragamuffin. 

 

 

 

  

  

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