it's time to stop bullshitting God by
love listening to other people. I want
to hear their journey, what got them here, why
they stay and what they feel their 'purpose'
is. We have heard it so many
times. We are on a journey. Maybe
it's more like an amusement ride. It's
freaky, fun, scary and at times you want to
blow chunks because of the twists and
turns. What keeps us on the ride?
What keeps us getting on and strapping ourselves
in? Come on, we have all been
there. We all know they nagging
questions that we are faced with on a daily
I sat in my living room with a friend the
other night. She is truly a person on a
journey. She loves God, she hates the
system/institution she has seen. She
hates conformity and strives for
individuality. She has dreams and
aspirations.....but is afraid like most of
us. She has been through pain and
discouragement like all of us. Yet, I
saw something different in her this time when
I visited with her. I asked what the
difference was. Why was she still on the
'ride'? What had changed? Why did
she seem more comfortable in her own skin? Why
did she seem so peaceful? I finally got her to
spill the beans. "I stopped
bullshitting God." she exclaimed. I
burst out into laughing. I knew EXACTLY
what she meant. She explained how she
finally just decided to be herself with God,
not pretend, not strive to be something she
wasn't. She decided to enjoy the
ride. She chose to embrace her process,
so to speak. She had been taught 'how'
she 'should' act, 'what' she 'should'
say...........but none of it fit her.
None of it fit who she essentially was.
So, now she is at peace with the fact that she
can be herself.............and it's
okay. It's really truly okay.
Getting back on the roller coaster was okay
now. She knew that she wasn't going to
fall out. Basically, she had become
comfortable in her own skin. She isn't
afraid for God to see her in her 'ugliness' -
He thinks she is beautiful.
She stopped 'Bullshitting'
profound. Sorry, if I offend you.
But, I found her statement enlightening.
She admitted she stopped dishing out what she
thought God wanted to hear and see. But,
instead just offered herself up.
Selah. Now her journey/ride has truly
begun. It's just her and God.
Nothing fancy. No pretense. It has
become real for her.
Isn't that what we all want? Something
real with no pretense. A reason to keep
getting on the ride. You can only
pretend for so long. After a while, it
gets pretty lame.
I will never forget the story my husband told
me. He is one of the most 'real' people I
know. He truly has the most amazing
journey with God I have ever seen. We had just
made a huge move across the country. He
had to switch jobs and the only thing he could
do on such short notice was to work in a
lumber mill for a couple of months. Now,
if ANYONE out there has ever worked in a
lumber mill, you'll know exactly what I mean
when I say it's the hardest job you could ever
have. He broke every finger on both
hands, had a timber knock him out, etc...and
he lived off Advil for the first 3
weeks. I would watch him literally crawl
over the threshold of the door when he would
get home. He told me He was so mad at
God. He couldn't understand why God had
him at this job.........after all, we had
already been through so much. We moved
because God told us too. Now he was at a
crumby job that caused him a lot of physical
pain. He said he stood in the mill on
his night shift and swore at God at the top of
his voice. Now, it's too noisy in the
mill so no one could hear him........except
for God. He said an amazing thing
happened. He felt God overwhelm him with
such love and compassion for his situation
that he repented on the spot for being such a
moron. He told me 'God wasn't offended,
He's too secure in Himself for that. But
he appreciated me being so real with
I am not advocated swearing to God. I am
making a point. I have learned and am
learning to be real with God. I don't
want to give Him religious script. I
want to be vulnerable. I want Him to
know me and I want to let myself be
known. I want to be real. I want
to be comfortable with being real. I
need to know that I am alright and it's going
to be okay. It's like a when we first
meet 'the one' that we want to spend the rest
of our lives with. We say all the right
things, do all the right things, dress just
right, smell just right and the list goes
on. Well, eventually they will see that
you don't look absolutely fab when you wake up
in the morning, you do have bad breath at
times and yes, you get gas like everyone
else. There is a time when 'reality'
slaps you in the face. It can be like
that with God. We want to put on a bit
of a show. But, sooner or later it's got
to get real.
I have decided to stop B.S-ing God in certain
areas of my life. This has got to be a
ride that I enjoy to the fullest. No
matter what twists and turns it takes. I
can only enjoy it if I am being myself and
comfortable in my own skin. I can only
enjoy it if I truly know that it's okay for me
to be real. God's okay with that.
I think we would be surprised to know that He
likes it that way.
the happy ending to the lumber mill
story.................he got an awesome job a
couple of months later and loves it. No
more broken fingers.
have been married 13 wonderful yrs. I
have three wonderful children. My
husband and I were in ministry for a long time. We
aren't anymore. At least, not the same
kind of 'ministry'. We love God and
live life honestly, simply and openly.
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