Confessions of Emerging Guy by Brian Ross 

Okay, I confess, I have been emerging guy. I have been “Mr. Purveyor of All Things Postmodern.” Yeah, I have been that guy. The pomo conference roadie. The central PA expert on the latest “Emergent” book, the Brueggemann quoter, the lone true-blue Jesus follower who doesn’t sell-out to consumerist Christianity, the one who proudly and publicly questions a basic tenant of orthodox Christianity from time to time. The one who searches the internet and used eclectic bookstores for hours to find some new, eastern, educational meditation technique that no-one has heard of yet so I can bring that up at a “conversation” and maybe, just maybe, McLaren will be intrigued and mention it in a footnote in his next book in the middle of one of his over the top gracious apologies to evangelicals as he disagrees with them. Yep, that has been me.

I know what you are thinking . . . you are thinking, “Wow, this guy is trying too hard, he doesn’t get it. I have met that guy at a conference, I mean, “conversation” before. Yeah, that guy has issues . . .” Well, okay, you have some points. But, I wasn’t completely post-western, post-critical, post-evangelical guy. I have short hair, no goatee, I don’t wear Birkenstocks, I have no tattoos, and I am not currently making plans to move to an arts district. Okay? But honestly, you might be “emerging guy,” (I’m sorry . . . I don’t want to be gender-centric), or person, and you don’t even know it yet. That my friends, is the worst kind. Let me share a little more about my “story.” I do want to use narrative here, hell, I won’t be caught dead being propositional! See if you are not “emerging” person . . . 

I never fit in completely in church, even as I took paychecks from them. And so A New Kind of Christian was like an alcoholic tasting the first drop of cold brew. It was only the beginning. I devoured all of McLaren, then Willard, then Wright, then Brueggemann, then St. John of the Cross and friends, then Wallis, and so on, and then on to the more intellectual and never heard of authors. (When you are reading people that no one has ever heard of, then you really are emerging person.) All the while I did a lousy job of fulfilling my duties as a pastor, except for relationships. I was becoming a full-fledged “community” guy. You know what I mean? One of those who never really does anything, because that is after all part of the “consumerist/empire machine thing” and just being its chaplain. So I just hung out with a lot of people and tried to learn about various beers so I could talk intelligently about micro-brews. And you know, doing “community’ is a great way to get everyone else reading all the stuff you read! It was great, I found out who the real followers of Jesus were, the ones who would go to conferences with me, and found out who the goats were, that silly majority who still “worship the man” in their form of church. I started losing people from my ministry- but you know it was great, it proved I was following the way of Christ. And I started turning every conversation into a philosophical/theological treatise complete with big words or words I was inventing. I was being a “linguistic artist.” Oh yes, I was finding myself.

After taking a few knocks for the kingdom, being called a heretic, changing denominations, losing some friends, etc., you know- the usual, I moved to begin a new church. Now, don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t an “emerging” church-plant, because we all know, if you call your church an “emerging” church it really isn’t one. That is the litmus test for being the real-deal. You never use the word postmodern or emerging. That is for the posers, those jumping on the bandwagon. You got me? We were going to sit around and read Kierkegaard, and do communal art, and practice contemplative prayer, and tell jokes about Rick Warren, and smoke cigars, and wear clothes from a thrift store, and drink fair-traded coffee. Wow, we were going to be the “real” Christians. (I mean, not that we are intolerant, we are just one expression- one limb on God’s big tree, we just happen to be the one that God is really personally into at the moment.) But then Jesus showed up in my life aga in. And the way He does in the emerging world. Through a heady, neo-Buddhist, philosopher’s book. Isn’t that just like Jesus!

Ken Wilber, “A Theory of Everything.” Wow. If you haven’t read it from McLaren’s recommended reading list on his site, you have too! That’s the next step. But man, I got a big huge freakin spanking from God.

In my own words, Wilber talks about thought and world-view progression. He lays out steps that he feels people walk up if they stay open and keep learning. According to him, if we keep growing as people, we follow this same path. When our world-view changes and grows, we abandon it, and move to the next step on the list. One leads to another. I will slaughter his brilliance in my own thoughts below:

1. Survival-Thinking. We start as infants thinking about nothing but eating and staying alive. If we grow, we move to-

2. Magical-Thinking. We believe the world is full of magic and danger. We are two-year olds who know a monster is in the dark closet. Or there are tribal people who believe an eclipse is the end of the world. If we grow, we move to-

3. Narcissistic-Thinking. We are self-centered, it’s all about me. College guy trying to get some action, drug dealer getting’ on the hustle and flow, normal guy absorbed in himself. (Think Joel Osteen.) If we grow, we move to-

4. Moralistic-Thinking. Everything is black and white. Good versus evil. Right and Wrong. (Think Jerry Falwell.) If we grow, we move to-

5. Pragmatic-Thinking. We do what works. We do what is popular. We do what leads to success. (Think Bill Hybels.) If we grow, we move to-

6. Postmodern-Thinking. We are open-minded. We are thinkers and questioners. We care about social justice. We challenge the status quo. (Think of . . . well, yourself.)

I could you give you dates where I was on each step. This is like a chart of my personal growth. This is spot-on. According to Wilber, most adults are somewhere between Narcissistic, Moralistic, and Pragmatic, and once you are about 25 years old, you tend to stay where you are. Only about 10% of adults are Postmodern. They are the most intelligent ones. They have kept growing and thinking when most have stopped. (But, I already knew that, and so do you.) They have been exposed to the most. BUT, according to Wilber, they are actually the most dangerous . . .

You see, whichever step or level you are on- you are very confident yours is THE right one. And the danger of standing proudly on the Postmodern step, is it deconstructs all the others. This person who raises their arms as the most enlightened, forgets that they think the way they do because they climbed up Narcissism, Moralism, and Pragmatism on their way. Those steps created who they are. Yet Postmodern guy, I mean “person,” turns around and sees all the shortcomings and cracks in the other steps. They see the vanity of Narcissism, the legalism and naiveté of Moralism, the shallowness and emptiness of Pragmatism and so confidently dismisses them all. Postmodern person gets a jolt out of not being on the lower steps and tries to find identity in deconstructing them whenever possible. This Wilber claims, is the downside of the university. Profs, by very nature of their brainpower tend to be Postmodern, and yet they are deconstructing the steps of Moralism and Pragmatism for a bunch of Narcissistic college kids. They are retarding their development.

(So maybe people didn’t leave my ministry or break-off friendships because they were “sell-outs” but because I was Postmodern guy subconsciously chipping at the steps they were standing on. I was being destructive for Christ. I was an enemy? Ouch.)

Finally, Wilber states, that the highest step, that less than 1% of adults arrive at- is the step of Integration. It is Postmodernism turned on its head. While Postmodern person clearly sees the faults of the other steps and gladly makes a life out of pointing them out to others and deconstructing growth and becoming a negative force in the world, Integrated person sees truth and reality and life in ALL of the steps, and while acknowledges that they are incomplete in themselves, they ALL have part of the truth. The answer for Integrated person is not to deconstruct these steps and attack those who stand on them, the task is to learn the truth and beauty and value in those steps and live the best of ALL of them in their life. And so while I thought I was brilliant, authentic, truly thinking Postmodern guy- all I was was negative, narrow-minded, destructive guy. I found a new piece of the pie of truth and through away all the rest.

So . . . . this means, yeah, there is a lot to learn from pomo emerging world. Social justice matters, human knowledge is limited, my perspective is my perspective, etc. However, for God’s sake, I better NOT jettison the other steps! I better give people a vision of all of the joys of following Jesus and do it with a smile (Narcissistic), I better really believe the Bible and be orthodox and seek to make disciples and live a moral life (Moralistic), and I better be relevant and practical and incarnational and organized and a good leader and manager (Pragmatic). Who are we to think this stuff is wrong? Talk about being arrogant and conceited? I better learn from Joel Osteen and Jerry Falwell and Bill Hybels, who do I think I am? Or I can minister to the 10% and think I am all that.

Are you “emerging” person? Are you pissing people off, doing nothing but reading philosophy and going to art shows? Are you angry person who thinks you “get it” while no one else does? Are people leaving your ministry or not checking things out to start with? Are you one of the enlightened few who doesn’t give in to consumerism? Can you talk about God without using words like community, global, justice, post-foundationalism, art, etc? Are you “emerging” person? Or are you ready to actually love Jesus again and his big staircase and not simply your personal little step? I think I remember someone saying something about “becoming all things to all men . . .” Are you becoming Narcissistic and Moralistic and Pragmatic AND Postmodern to meet people on their step to introduce them to Jesus? Or are you doing your own self-absorbed personal journey on your own little step? Are you REALLY being authentic- Mr. or Ms. emerging person? Or just selfish and self-absorbed? Do you remember it is ultimately about Jesus and not Derrida? And maybe, most troubling, could it be all of your former friends and church members have seen this about you all along? 

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