I am tired; I am so tired of the entire nothing; I’m tired of all the garbage and all the talk.  I am hearing great words from the modern church, but I am seeing no action – so, I am tired.

I’m tired of hearing about sin and redemption without hearing about how to live life.  Ok, I’m a sinner, now what?  Ok, I’m saved, now what?  Tell me more then I am a sinner and if it was not for the grace and love of God I would be frying in hell when I died – I need to know what do if my neighbor runs over my bushes; what do I do when my boss tries to make unwanted sexual advances; how do I deal with people on the freeway who cut me off and then flip me off?  What about people who are acting like jerks in the department store?  What about the guy who is shouting insults at his wife and kids in a restaurant?  How do I live in this world?  What is my counter culture stance in this world?  I could careless what will happen when I die – decades from now.  I need to know here, now, this moment.  Too much church is spent on what will happen after I die, and with the fact that I am a sinner in need of salvation – I need to know now, and how to live in this world.

I am tired of hearing about how much God loves me, then seeing his followers treat me like crap; it matters little to know that God loves me, when his followers don’t care if I live, die or disappear. Whenever I talk with an evangelical modern Christian all they want to do is tell me how much God loves me – well, I want to be loved by them – so, answer me this, “how much do you love me?”  You see, I know that God loves me, and that’s cool, but if his followers don’t love me then why even attend a church?  I know I should not be concerned with how people treat me, but you know what – I want words to equal actions.  When I say love, I mean love – not like, not tolerate, not understand, not tuff love – but love, pure in your face love – a willingness to go out of the way for me, a willingness to get up at three in the morning and drive me home from a binge – sure, it’s easy to love the ken and barbies of this world, but what about the rest of us?  I have been to too many churches where all the pastors look the same and all the people look the same.  Church has become a place for the beautiful, and not the normal never mind the “abnormal.”  It’s not much on the love scale – besides, if the followers of God say they love, but don’t – why should I believe that the God they follow would love me?

I am tired of hearing about unconditional love, then having a list of conditions placed upon it.  Love is love and it’s right back to the point before this.  If you want to place a condition on the way you love me, how do I know that your god is not placing conditions on his love?  Oh, sure you can tell me your god loves me unconditionally, but why should I trust you – after all, you lied about how you love me.  Unconditional means just that, unconditional – no conditions, no strings, no requirements, no steps – no conditions at all.  This means, you must love the guy with blue hair and earrings, the girl who wants to dress like a Goth, they guy who wants to wear a dress.  Placing any condition on you love for me, and others, makes me believe that your god places conditions on his love – and if he made me as I am, and then has a condition that places who I am outside of his love – why follow?

I’m tired of hearing about the omni-everything of God, then seeing the church and its “leaders” count on secondary human securities for all they have and do.  If God is in control, sit back and enjoy the ride, and stop trying to steer the car.  If God can do anything, and everything – why do you count on secondary human securities?  Why do you invest your money for a “rainy day” when God said he would take care of us?  This idea that “we have to do something before God will do something” places conditions on God’s interaction with his people; and places a condition on God’s love.

I’m tired of hearing about the importance of church from leaders who don’t show up at the drop of a hat.  Once, an elder of the church lectured me about “regular and study attendance in the church.”  This same elder would take off on weekends when he decided to “go to the game” or when his “team” was playing, or when he felt he needed to “go to his house in the country” for a vacation.  Leaders in the church need to be an example – and do what they say.  If church is a chore, then you need to work on changing church – it should not be a curse, it should be a blessing.

I’m tired of words not matching actions with most Christians.  If we truly desire to reach any group – postmodern or not, we need to get our act together.  Our words have to match actions.